I can’t believe I didn’t make this stupid, ridiculous, bullshit list. It’s all just political, anyway.

Is this for real? Indefinitely Wild and Workshop are two of my favorites.

I used to do that, before it got all popular.

Nerd.

Try having kids. It’s pretty close.

It also fires 10 millimeter explosive-tip caseless standard light armor-piercing rounds.

This might be a helpful analogy: I have three kids. If I were to buy a jump rope and hide it, still in its brand-new, unopened box, in a locked attic for an hour, when I took it out of the attic it would be tangled.

As a Cowboys hater, I assure you it’s quite satisfying either way.

You can never have too much depth at the emotionally-troubled-substance-abuse-arrest-record position.

And that is exactly why no NFL team has signed you yet.

I don’t know, but Roger Goodell will probably fine him $10,000 for not making the alligator available to the media.

The NYT is reporting that the package turned out to be harmless.

Finely-crafted satire.

That’s perfect.

This is - in all seriousness - some of the best and most detailed reporting I’ve seen on the attacks.

Probably what I love most about sports is how it elevates the moral and intellectual caliber of players and spectators alike.

The best part is that Watt probably worked on that line all week.

No, I didn’t know that. Thanks.

CNN is now reporting the attacks were coordinated by carrier pigeons sending telegrams.