Every single stupid “hOw To GeT rIcH lIkE i DiD” article has some kind of “GOTCHA!”, like “It’s easy! You just have to eliminate unnecessary expenses: I was able to buy a house in NYC at 25 by living at the luxury hotel my family owns! Sacrifice pays off!” or “It’s easy! You just need a side hustle: I paid cash for…

You both sit down, order drinks, and the first piece of advice he gives you: anytime someone offers you $500,000, take it. You hang your head in shame.

Hell, he gave himself to us freely. (And it should probably count for something that he went through the relative pain in the ass of becoming a citizen to do it, too.)

John Oliver is a national treasure.  Yes, we have stolen him from the UK and he is ours.  

Whatever you throw in, you have to take the time to weight it down. Put in  with a bag of bricks or cement and then securely tie it... uh...  I guess I’ve watched too many episodes of Dateline and 48hrs.........

Judging from that lunch (where they had prosciutto and melon balls) where Henry was asking too many questions and giving too many comments , I guess the wich don’t tell their kids to stay outta grown folks’ business either? My mother would have knocked me unconscious and kept eating her prosciutto till she got tired. 

Never use the ocean to dispose of shit. It always washes back up when you least expect it to. 

If Biden “bites it”, we find out again that the country isn’t ready to elect a woman to be President. When given a choice between a familiar but problematic dude and binders full of highly capable women, voters went with the dude.

Yes. I don’t believe it. The timing is far too perfect — right after a horrendous performance at the first debate, his tax corruption is finally released? Nah. His modus operandi is to deflect, and look how well it’s working. He will likely have a miraculous cure (no doubt created by a company owned by family) and…

herman cain was double D DEAD in two short weeks

Now that I’ve slept on this, I have mixed feelings. Overall, I’m doing the schadenfreudiest dance I’ve ever fucking done, but I have some thoughts.

Wait, are you saying hydroxychloroquine DOSEN’T work against Covid-19?!?!?!

Imagine paying upwards of $250K just to catch a potentially fatal and debilitating disease.

But also, maybe people will finally take this epidemic seriously. If Donald Trump has to get sick and die for his supporters to start wearing their fucking masks when in public, it’s a sacrifice worth making.

One fine morning...we overcame! Some women got some justice.

Ssssshhh! We’re only supposed to quote the “I Have A Dream” speech. anything more makes white people uncomfortable because it challenges their romanticized fictitious version of him.

“Cubic Zirconia and Polyester” at best.

This is the best description of Tavis Smiley... ever!

You forgot a couple of things obama did for black america:

Yeah I understand white folks not voting for her, but baffles me as to why minorities won’t vote for her, it’s not like you have any other viable options. If you refuse to vote for Harris over her record you’re just as bad as the people that stayed home in 2016 as far as i’m concerned.