Ah, yes, this soil is the sacred land of our ancestors, God’s chosen people, the persecuted children of Abraham that we must take back from those infidel Muslims.

‘Things that will not age well’ for $200 Alex

This is bloody awful. Take your star.

Been awhile since I combined laughter with hating myself quite like this.

Isn’t the internet already hell?

DoorDash deliverers get paid time and a half when they get his house.

And the 25th anniversary was just Wednesday. That’s so OJ...always cutting it too close.

Fuck, just in time for the release of the new Ford Bronco.

If you think his Twitter is bad, you should see what he says about some waiters on Yelp.

It’s worse. He’s running for President.

Killing it today, my man...

Camera adds 6 inches and 10 pounds

maybe he just brought the headless torso because he needed someone to talk to?

only when you have a Chinese slave do it for you, Mr. Kraft.

“Is that some kind of crime or something??”
- Robert Kraft

Well, he couldn’t take a WHOLE woman could he? It would never fit in carry-on.

This is...    way too much information.

You are a true hero

I don’t know about you, but I have serious anxiety about getting a fleshlight through a TSA checkpoint, so she stays at home. I can jerk off into a hotel washcloth filled with moisturizer and left on the room heater for five minutes for a couple days just fine.