I didn’t see any swords.

You forgot step #1: go back in time and don’t have kids.

I would flip #2 and 3 if I were you.

It’s always the middle 80% that I get hung up on, not the first or last 10%.

Is this an old video?

Pull him.

*reads this, angrily dribbles ball off foot*

Why? She didn’t even catch it.

Bro, you can classify your thoughts and opinions as “data points”, but don’t expect anyone to take you seriously.

So, your anecdotes are better because they’re yours. got it.

No, my anecdotal evidence is more true than your anecdotal evidence.

“HOLY SHIT was that a dropoff in quality”

*stands with arms folded, staring off into space*

I thought that, as a nation, we had moved past chill bro shaming.

Just another uninspired stump speech.

You say it’s “part of how they market their product”, but miss the point. These interviews are not just marketing the product just by allegedly providing fans with in-game coachspeak insight. It’s giving fans more flavor on the personality of players/coaches. And fans knowing the Pop is a no-nonsense SOB makes them…

The pump fakes are as impressive as anything else on those highlight reels.

I like him. And I cannot lie.

You can’t expect someone to behave rationally without caffeine in their life.

If you’re looking for delusional logic, just wait until the commissioner responds to this.