#TeamMessing

How did I get left out of this? I feel so alone and sad...

Does your dad look like this?

I say have fun with choosing what your grandkids call you. Grandma sounds so old and matronly. If I ever have grandkids, I’m going to have them call me “Shitmonster”.

This happens way more often than you would think...

I put all this effort into convincing people that I was engaged to Jon Lovitz. I can’t believe they believed me!

NAMED Larry. Adele had a beard named Larry. These typos are killing me.

Every time the discussion of menstrual shaming comes up, I think of a guy I briefly dated once. He was in his mid-20s and was divorced after a short marriage to his high school sweetheart. We were making out and when he tried to unzip my jeans I calmly told him I was on my period so it was a no-go. (I figured since…

Thanks MOM! I could’ve looked like Brad Pitt.

As someone who hasn’t watched RHOP, I am going to just stand up and admit that this post initially confused the shit out of me because I thought (just from the pic at the top) that Robyn was white and was saying she was not biracial.

Anyone else watch Alpha House?

According to IMDB, he got $500,000 for a tiny part in Three Amigos. If he got that (or more) every time he got a small part and like Bears said has worked pretty steadily, then unless he blew it all on coke and hookers, he should be okay.

I recently went to a dog’s birthday party where the host had one of those photo booth setups

Oh, please. My 8-year-old niece works out in my home gym for fun and runs circles around me with all of her damn youthful energy. Give a kid some pixie sticks and they can do any obstacle course. Youths.

You use ‘albeit’ wayyyy too much.

that might be it.

I’m sorry, but Kourtney Kardashian is a goofy looking mofo in these pics.

No one cares what you have to say, Whitney Cummings.

Lord lord lordy what has this world come to...