Add inaugurations to this...

“Hey, pal-y, I got you’s a pack of smokes, menthols, ‘cuz you’s black, a copy of The Times to remember the day the Earth ended, and an avocado you’s gotta eat like, toot sweet.”

“Every magic trick consists of three parts, or acts. The first part is called the pledge, the magician shows you something ordinary. The second act is called the turn, the magician takes the ordinary something and makes it into something extraordinary. But you wouldn’t clap yet, because making something disappear…

Not if you’re American.

A study on what men play would’ve just been a bullet-point list...

At least now Squall has something to mope about.

“...whatever...”

“Red, white and SPEW!”

*raises left because he doesn’t know right from wrong*

The majority weren’t there, because they didn’t vote for him. Go figure.

Record them saying something racist, get them fired.

Wrong is the new Right!

The far right, anyways...

No, he’ll say this kind of reporting is fake, and that the bottom photo is from today, and the top photo is from Obama’s inauguration. Because Trumpiness.

The Orange Knight Rises

RE: Tommy Boy:

She won the door prize.

Back when Sandler was funny... what’s it been? 20, 25 years?

There’s way too much dissonance between the reality we live in with Trump as President, and the universe in which optimism can exist. And that is the universe from which our timeline has diverged.

...said Donald Trump.

Has anyone made a Winnie the Poo joke yet?