8 to 12 year olds. Being told how to draw eyes away from their problem areas. I can’t even make my way to outraged. That just makes me sad.

THIS. Kinja should give us the option to bestow you with an entire galaxy of stars.

Uhhhh.. lol. Sorry about your luck. In my LDR, that doesn’t happen. And not just because we’re too lazy. ;) What is the point of going through the hardships of an LDR if you’re going to cheat? Seems kind of pointless to me.

Rich people, amirite? They can’t just shit on paper plates like the rest of us.

I should read the comments before I make my own 15 hours after the orignal post. Boomer Bob was the first thing I thought of. Great minds and all that! ;)

Do you think they’ll call him Boomer Bob?

I came here to say “Boomer?? BOOMER??!! Boomer Bob.. sweet baby jesus in an improperly secured car seat..”

Haha.. thanks! Have you ever heard the song? My grandmother used to belt out drop kick me jesus through the goalpost of life. Clearly one of the best songs EVER. (It’s available on youtube, do yourself a favor and listen!)

Totally feeling you in PA. And I’ve only been back from NZ since mid April. That groundhog has some explaining to do.

This is grossing me the fuck out on 8643 levels. I’ll give you a dollar to tell me that you sourced this info from The Onion.

I found your comment to be topical AND insightful. Also: hilarious. 10/10. Would laugh again, and wish desperately that I had a Lifetime movie habit so that I could help you out.

We are all going to need 43 showers a day from now til November. And still we won’t feel clean. *sigh*

My friend Kate would never allow her son to grow up to be such a revolting lech!! I once shook her hand, so I know this sort of thing. Consider me a ‘source’. ;) Also.. my middle name is Elizabeth.. the baby princess’ middle name is Elizabeth.. coincidence? I think not. Kate did me a solid and named that baby after…

I just cannot EVEN with any of this shit anymore. I intend to spend the entire day tomorrow looking at pics of Obama with kids, alternated with pics of the baby princess for variety. They are the only thing that are going to keep my head out of the oven over this election cycle and the goddamn Target bathroom thing. I…

Your p.s. SLAYED me.

Am I an asshole if I say that I would not have picked that out as a Misty Copeland Barbie? I love the idea, but maybe the resemblance isn’t great?

The one kid looked pretty damn gleeful when she outed her father for wearing hairbows and underwear over his clothes. I thought about adopting her in that moment but then realized that I’m too old and tired to deal with a kid that age. Sorry Caroline! Maybe try the Obamas? They seem to have the energy for it, and…

We can be roomies! I’m headed there too... for the exact same reason. I just burst out laughing so loudly that my cat jumped. Now my days are numbered because I disturbed HRH Princess Hack a Hairball and I don’t even care!

Wish I’d heard of it at the time. This was literally a months long battle of me combing out the long thick hair of a crying, uncooperative kid every other day.. and STILL she’d have them. The chemicals worked for me.. glad you found something more gentle!

This stuff is called ovide. 2 fl ounces of it cost like $150 and it took 2 bottles to do my daughter’s long hair (insurance covered it). It’s 70% isopropyl alcohol. I’m not sure why it is so expensive, and it smells like turpentine had a baby with pinesol, but it kills the nits, and therein lies the solution. I’ve had…