Hah! I love how I had to clarify that I’m an old when I’d already stated that my walls were plastered with Rick Springfield. No lie. I had it BAD. Now I have a not so secret thing for Tim Minchin.. the most brilliant musician comedian on the planet (seriously, look him up!) and I’m currently with a NZer. Clearly I…

I rode the bus to school and I didn’t get home until 4pm (after GH) so a few days in 9th and 10th grades I had to feign illness so I could see him being all doctorly in some crucial scene on General Hospital. Because I am an old, and although we were very technologically advanced with our Atari and our weekend VCR…

Oh, Tiger Beat. Thank you thank you thank you for the Rick Springfield wallpaper of my youth.

My sister has referred to me as ‘shitting impaired’ due to my inability to poop in public restrooms.. like *I’m* the weirdo here! If everyone would go home to do that, the world of public restrooms, and therefore the world at large, would be a much nicer place. There’s something to be said for being a TINY bit anal…

MadamS, not only do I love you a little bit now, but that is the best use of a picture I have ever seen in any comment section anywhere. Ever. You win.

I’ve been an advocate of that particular wall for a very long time now!! Please say I can join your noble cause!

There are going to be SO. MANY. fetus killing comments. I’ve had people on my facebook feed share the Marco Rubio comments in a non mocking way. I’ve had to unfriend/follow people, because I just can’t even anymore with these assholes.

So basically a Polaroid of me having the screaming shits because I forgot in the ten years since I’ve had KFC what kind of gastrointestinal distress it causes me? I’m out. Don’t even call me. I’ll be over here in the grays, having flashback stomach cramps.

Dear Mr. Johnson,

Ummmm.. ok, Bristol. We believe you. No.. really.. we do!

Pretty sure as a grown woman she could have gotten her own birth control. I do see what you’re saying.. I accidentally bad for her too. I just think she’d be doing herself a big favor to shut up about it.

I forgot about that whole rape story! Ugh.. Pretty sure she’s an awful person. Nature or nurture, that is the question.

Oh my god you win! This made me laugh right out loud, and immediately read it to my bf. One time my friend told me she accidentally had sex and I’m like ‘wait.. what? did you fall on it?’

So much this. I kind of feel sorry for her, growing up in that house. Her announcement is worded in a way that makes me unable to get a schadenfreude boner and just makes me sad, instead. But STILL. Show a tiny bit of self awareness. Jesus.

Frankly, if people aren’t going to fuck with their kids’ heads, I’m not even sure why they have them.

I read it twice because I thought I missed something.. I’m short.. super short even.. but I thought she just described the show. Everything after that’s a bit of a shitshow, though ;)

You know that thing where you cringe and snort-laugh simultaneously? Yah.. I’m there.

I would like to apologize for laughing out loud at your grandfather’s heart attack!! I’m just twisted that way.. I also got the LOLz from a girl getting so excited about being proposed to that she jumped up and down and fell to her death off of a cliff. It’s not the suffering of others that I enjoy, just the hilarious…

and every other vagina-related insult you could expect from people who have only a theoretical knowledge of the subject matter

I don’t feel like he was putting his insecurity on her at all. I read it as he was actually very careful not to do that, in fact.