"There's a pants-less option for that?"

Manzeil couldn't have sucked more ass even if he'd been tailgating in Detroit.

There is only 1 Cruze in that photo...

More like Strong Ass-Take, 'cause that there is some shit.

HE WAS PUNCHED SO HARD HIS FUTURE CHILDREN HAVE BRUISES.

That definitely makes the lack of teeth a bonus.

As someone who gets punched in the face as a hobby: Don't you stick me with that shit.

"FIN FANG FOOM WILL PUT YOU IN HIS PANTS."

"Ok i'm opening the trap, don't look directly at the trap!"

If you are reading this then it must be a rap.

You should send a midwife; looks like he's about to have a poor bastard.

"Moon-Boy hated me. Moon-Boy had to die. Moon-Boy tasted bad and gave me considerable rectal distress."

His earning power is destroyed.

I've read a lot of articles on the subject, watched some how-to videos, even taken a couple of classes, and I can safely say Matthysse went about this all wrong:

But that's not what "your" means. I assume Drew has several douche canoes labeled alphabetically A through I(having douche canoes in the double-digits would be excessive,) and the writer was going to tell him about a problem with his "a" douche canoe but the message was cut off. Probably because they still use a…

Because a person can wear this to a game without no repercussions whatsoever:

Wow, did that get kinja'd into word vomit. The whole thing was meant to say:

Well, if you're supposed to a magic wand is

Dan Snyder is proud to introduce the newest board members of the Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation!

Apparently this was his training camp for a much longer Extended Stay.