Here’s a tip from your Uncle Prostate, kids. The more sentences you jam into your apology, the less sincere it sounds to the people it’s directed towards.  

Hey, kids, you can say what you want but watch what you say don’t be mean but it’s not the school’s job to police your language but make sure you tell the truth but hey there I work for a liar and mean guy but wait it doesn’t count unless he says it to your face right ok hey did I tell you about my yacht my luggage!

White people can never see anything wrong with themselves or their history

George Zimmerman wasn’t eligible because he went pro in 2015 

“exhibiting characteristics of an armed person”

Ok Liah, now imagine going through all those things as a burdensome minority instead of a white woman who everyone sees as redeemable and worth expending effort on. Instead of going to college, you dropped out at 16 because your school had suspended you for ‘poor behavior’ starting in kindergarten and none of your…

Yes; we klan.

So when will #newportnancy #bbqbecky, and #permitpatty start their own rap group under the alias “2 White Crew”?

Also, it’s hilarious to see that all of our friends in their pink pussy hats all ran like the cowards that we knew they were and are now asking us to be cordial to people who want us eradicated.

Maybe the lack of a chin helps them fit their heads far enough up their asses to see where all their great ideas are born.

The “But Kim is Armenian!” shit never ends. Again, she’s half; her mother is typical American mutt. And, again, Armenians are OG caucasians, like literal Caucasians. Like, white people Europeans even created “white” people.

Vanilla Isis must be stopped. Haven’t they killed more than 100 people in the last year alone? Ten more today? But we don’t call them terrorists. GTFO with that.

Someone on Instagram said he looked like a thumb, and I’ve been cackling ever since.

A good a place as any to post one of my favorite passages:

Progressive whites, liberal whites, ally whites...don’t exist and the sooner we understand that the better we’ll all be. That’s not to say there aren’t nice white people. There are plenty, of course.

You say it was lacking actual neo nazis, but then you say hundreds of cops were there.

“They told Good Morning America that they arrived at the store at around 4:35 p.m. for a 4:45 p.m. meeting with local businessman Andrew Yaffe. Call logs show that the Starbucks employee called 911 at 4:37 p.m.”

“Why do we hate white people” question was answered years ago and it was done in less than 60 seconds

“Why are you trying to rob my house?” is beginning to sound a lot like “Stop resisting.”

Scottathan. Scottward. Scotthew. My dude.