Haven’t seen someone spend this much time running around Philadelphia with inevitable disappointment on the horizon since Hillary Clinton.

You would have thought that 2016 would be a good year for Arians’ Nation.

How coincidental, Triple H will be our bond rating after the Trump Presidency.

You guys are too hard on poor Jim. Cut the man some slacks.

If you can’t beat ‘em, poem.

Actually, there’s a gold trophy for seeing it poop. You can’t see its shit though.

...a small, inexpensive and heartwarming action. No attempts at monetizing it or hyping it up, just a simple sign of respect and support in the wake of a relevant tragedy.

Ben Carson went to Yale and he thinks the pyramids were built for grain storage.

Biff Bungles on waivers...just saying

It’s time to reach out to the back-up quarterbacks, Beef Binkles and Blart Boofles. If that fails we’re going to the practice squad to get Burp Bangles some reps.

How would that even need to be challenged? The fiscal situation of the government is based on the debt and the potential of interest hikes. Assuming the administration continues to maintain a deficit, every subsequent administration will inherit the worst fiscal situation.

One bright note, he may be a problem that solves himself by getting impeached.

Well, hey. Trump may have a blank check to destroy this county for everyone who isn’t wealthy, white and male, but we can all take comfort in the fact that Mitch McConnell will push back against congressional term limits. He’s truly the hero we deserve.

The most awesome thing about this is how much damage it will do to the people who actually voted for this person.

You have never been more attractive to me than you are right now. Let the Trump-felchers make their own auto site w/ what passes for humor and balanced commentary in the conservative world; I’m more than happy than w/ the well-rounded Jalopnik I’ve enjoyed for years.

Clearly.

I took it seriously.

Mehxit.

Fucking idiots. I told them playing games at Dover wasn’t a good idea...

This is an especially idiotic hot taek.