A "rumpled beatnik" who happens to have perfect brows and the most flawless skin I've ever seen? If you think that's "rumpled", allow me to introduce you to the clothes I picked up off the floor and put on to wear to work this morning.

Oh god. I was six or seven when 'Achy Breaky Heart' came out. My grandparents had a camper in a permanent lot on the Ohio River (on the West Virginia side, thank you very much), one of those campgrounds where you leave your camper year-round and can build porches for them if you wish. That summer, the spot next to…

Was anyone else one of those uber-sensitive kids who ascribed feelings to their toys and stuffed animals? I used to play with all of my toys on a rotation because I was afraid of hurting their feelings. I kind of did that with my clothes too - I would feel guilty if I didn't wear my red shirt for a while because I was…

I was 8 years old when I went into my parent's bedroom one morning while my parents were still asleep and saw my Dad had a boner. I totally freaked out, woke my Mom up by dragging her out of the bed, and called 911 because I thought it was a chestburster from Aliens.

Goth isn't back cause goth never left

I know!! I often wonder if it's some bomb evolutionary tactic from the ancestors who lived in the wild, like some modern day equivalent of "SHOW ME YOUR BELLY! TAIL BETWEEN LEGS! ALPHAAAAA."

I'm pretty sure my twin brother is one, too, and I'm not sure how far along towards being a sociopath he may already be. He may have always been a sociopath but I do watch out for these signs that may disqualify that prospect. I have to live with him, since he's my twin brother but I do anticipate certain behaviors…

Hahhaa I just realised that a 'jawbone' is a device. I thought you meant your inner motivation sprang from your facial cartilage.

"The question that remains is how we make so GODDAMN MANY of these fucking people."

I would wager it's some kind of coping mechanism for trauma/abuse/neglect.

As a person whose sister is your brother's female equal, I think it balances out with people like us. The siblings who try their damndest to be the exact opposite of their ridiculous, crazy, self absorbed, hate-filled relatives.

It would be nice to get some encouragement about my drinking every once in a while!

Jesus tapdancing Christ on a cracker.

Farce, a couple things. 1.) I love your profile-pic. It reminds me of Harley Quinn, my fictional character crush. 2.) I clicked on that link. Read it. That was so beautifully written. I really mean that. We don't know each other & it probably won't mean much but my father was much the same as E. I'm sorry. It can be a…

The question that remains is how we make so GODDAMN MANY of these fucking people.

Wait, is it total bullshit or are you just saying it's not worth the money? Because ballsmcgee and I got ours for free through his health insurance, so I've got a great step & calorie counter (I got one of the ones that tells the time, your steps, your calories, how many floors you've climbed, and how far you've…

It might be bullshit, but it's presence on my wrist has done a pretty good job of keeping me going to the gym.