My latent crush on Wes Crusher was clearly well-places at age 6.

Do you think tortoises dream of being other, perhaps more rapidly mobile, animals? Is this post-modern tortoise escapism?

Cher did it first (and better)

All you folks secure in the middle can have your caffeine, just means there's all the more 'ludes for me and my folks on the edge.

I would love to see what type of Ghillie suit she constructs for her ambush. Having seen shots of her apartment, I imagine it would be constructed of discarded Hermes bags and tissue paper.

I am 100% okay with caffeine bribery.

I love this thread.

I can just picture Pope Francis looking at Crowe and being like, "I really liked Gladiator, but, dude, why ya gotta be such a douche?"

I am shocked. SHOCKED, I tell you!

SO MUCH PRETTY AT STAKE! Oh the huge manatee!

ON Skid Row, or WITH Skid Row? Looka these tough bastards:

I appreciate the concision you employ when making lists.

It was for the good of the rebellion! CHRIST, FAIRCLOTH, cut a Cloud-living cardplayer some slack.

Don't you bring Billy Dee into this! HE DESERVES BETTER

How have I never seen this before? This is the best thing about bananas that I've seen in like weeks.

you are a generous credit-giver, methinks.

Eh, I loved Coldplay very hard when they first appeared. I was 15 and caught them on super late night MTV Underground at 2 a.m. and wanted to be on that awful beach with that whiny bastard.

Who knew Martin was a Kinko's enthusiast?

Ugh, Chris Martin one almost ran me over on his goddamned bike in London. I went all Dustin Hoffman in Midnight Cowboy on him (while he pedaled away, mind you), which, honestly, is not an endearing thing to do as a Yank in London. Learn from my mistakes.

God, it can only go up from "Magic." I mean, honestly, I was hoping to gouge an eardrum with a Q-Tip this morning, just so I didn't have to wait for the radio rotation to come to that song.