For the record, three of my top five movies evarrr at any given time star Nicholas Cage, so...

I find this creature as creepy as I do adorable. Unnerving.

Such a perfect example of how women are commoditized in our culture, literally by the pound. Our obsession with weight and food is so ingrained and deeply personal, yet there remains the need to KNOW so we can gauge how much the lady in question is really "worth." I expect more from Roker who struggled so publicly…

It actually raises an interesting question/observation/idk what: she moved to h'wood alone at a young age, but still seems "young" for her current age, even after years in the business. I always assumed such an experience would "age" someone, or even cause them to become jaded. How do you suppose that might factor…

I recall so much schmaltz! Even down to the cutesy nature of the names of things.

You make a good point, but she isn't really that young (27). But I suppose we all mature at our own rates. Like I mentioned: cranky.

I get the feeling Steven Tyler shouldn't be allowe to drive anywhere... And not all Americans suck on that show, not by a long shot. Cameron Diaz, for instance, dominated.

At least she's consistent! I suppose that does say something positive.

My every experience of it included my mother crying during almost every episode. Perhaps that left the poor impression?

Yes, yes it is! Thank you.

Sounds like a version of that awful show where the lawyer runs his office out of a bowling alley. The only redeeming factor there was Michael Ian Black. WTF was the name of that show?

Drive Angry was Oscar worthy, what are you talking about?!

It was her visit to Top Gear that made me batty. The worst part was hearing about the great car she owned ('67 mustang if I recall), but then watching her mangle driving on the track. It was painful!

Am I the only one who gets a weird feeling that everything about Amber Heard is entirely manufactured, like a Maxim-based fembot? I'm not saying she's not bisexual, just that... She seems to come across as some sort of human "man's woman" checklist. Gun enthusiast? Check. Loves and owns muscle cars? Check (but can't…

You are crowned pithiest of Dorkdomvillington today. My hat is off to you.

First of all, either Val Kilmer is currently in Hartford, CT, or that's a damn fine recreation of Twain's house. Second of all, if I were dressed so well as Twain, I too, would take 9 million selfies. Mark Twain was pretty awesome, and before people start in on his anti-Native American shit, he later amended those…

I made Grumpy Cat's exact expression as I read this and only realized when a coworker commented that this was the case.

And now she shills cascade dish soap. WTF.

My best friend and her GF live on the next street from where they film Girls in Brooklyn. The traffic and on-looker induced-rage they experience is worthy of... being included in the next season?

I'm having a lot of trouble digesting the news, as well. I started drafting a somewhat manic shouty all-caps situation about it.