this would require a translator and compete rewrite.

Smurfette was created by Gargamel with the intent of infiltratin and destroying the Smurfs from the inside, but theit inherent goodness turned her into one of them.

I desperately want to shut her mouth. Not due to what spews from it - though stemming that flood of fecal matter would be an added bonus - but because I have never seen a picture of her without her mouth hanging open in some fashion.

I would like to believe she was raised by an entire fraternity, brainwashed into infiltrating their prey and leading Sorority sisters into their years-long constructed trap.

Just doesn't have the same ring to it.

I am so impressed by the amount of misogyny this woman spews.

Dazed and Confused.

I really need to know how you reacted.

When I first started dating my current and long term special gentleman friend, he apparently had to use a dictionary during text conversations. If I had known at the time, it would have been a deal-breaker. Now, it seems sweet that he was so motivated. I still correct his grammar and spelling, though.

It would totally be vagcation, not girlcation!

It's a fucking salad if any vegetables show up the the party.

Yes, that.

As of late, ingesting red meat causes me to become physically ill. No warning, just BAM! No steak for you! I have defaulted to ovo-vegetarianism. But it will be a cold day in hell before I give up cheese.

Well, he HAS replaced Dick Clark... hmmmm.

It probably has happened before, she was just the schmuck who got caught.

She sure did have more sex than most teenagknowable far as I know.

A million points to Gryffindor for the invocation of Nigel Tufnel.

This whole article has caused me to over-think this commercial far too much.

Sorry, Lindy, mystery brunette has got nuthin' on this: