KATYA! Pearl’s “supermodel on Ativan” schtick was okay, but she was BORING. Katya, on the other hand, is hilarious and fun to watch.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh... Ginger Minj was the one who was robbed! Am I living in an alternate universe over here??

KATYA FOREVER!!! Ohh I loved her so much. She was sooo pretty, and also as a man she could GET IT. Also she was hilarious and perfect and goddamnit maybe I should rewatch this last season...

If there were any robberies, they came out of Katya’s purse. Not Pearl’s.

Once you hit 70, nothing fits right. Or so a Cracked article about why old people smell funny and dress weird told me.

People still think rubbing a puppy’s nose in its own piss on the carpet is an effective way of potty training it

For fuck’s sake. The only time this “parenting technique” will work is if the kid dies. So congratulations. He’ll never drink again.

Not that it wouldn’t be taken down immediately, but would it be possible to start a Yelp review of Yelp as a business...

OMG OMG THIS IS MY HAND!!! MY HAND IS ON JEZEBEL GUYS MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!

I know, and it saddens me when fellow countrymen think its a walk in the park to cross the border. They risk death from crossing the desert, theft of what little they have, and its even expected that women and girls will be raped in the journey. These immigrants do a lot more to earn their citizenship than the people…

Given that Germany currently takes in as many Muslim refugees in a day as the US (a country 25 times our size) takes in a year, I don’t think you should thump your chest too proudly about being welcome to the downtrodden of the world.

You know who else says what they mean? Everybodys drunk, racist uncle. We’re not voting for him.

Oh cum all ye faithful.

So it’s sort of the opposite of why most churches have to close.

You should leave without your child but with a really smug look, like you’re so proud of your billionth trimester abortion (not sure how old your child is)

A...doughnut shop? That’s the first time I ever heard that one.

Nah, those examples apply to penetrative sex for any combination of genetalia - male/female with either receiving, 2 male, or 2 female. On first read, I thought the tips applied only to situations in which the penetrative partner is the larger one (which is a heteronormative assumption); but after a closer read, it’s…