Beer and whiskey are different beverages.

Abdullah: "Coach, that's Ramadan and, actually you can't eat at all while the sun is up."

The MLS isn't big enough to sustain relegation. It would be detrimental for the fourth or fifth most popular sport in America to lose a team in a major city like New York or Chicago (or, say, LA) only to replace them with the Charleston Battery or the Rochester Rhinos.

(that was the joke)

Who the fuck makes a coffee drink with water?

Are you a Yankees/Duke/Lakers/Cowboys fan?

I believe there is a semi-pro team that also utilizes the brown and orange combination.

Sure, if rural NY state were 3500 miles from New York City.

Or DO support the MLS so that you can actually attend games and have a reason to be rooting for a team rather than just bandwagoning onto Arsenal, Bayern or Chelsea just because you've heard the name or because they were on TV the first time you tried to watch international soccer!

God damn it would have been awesome if Jeter's final at-bat were an intentional walk.

Marry Beyonce is obvious.

If it's any consolation, no one wants him picking for Tennessee either.

I'm assuming we're talking drywall here? How do you even tell the Nature Valley bars from the wall itself?

I bet she didn't even fetch his pipe and slippers!

Then she's raped you.

My favorite part is how simple it is to add new clubs.

I definitely will try to obviously not leave bruises or anything like that on her,

Those butts are nowhere near what an average human being would consider a good big butt.

Strong words coming from SSKate. I think I know a Steamship when I see one.

1. Tap