It has the stink of death on it even though it's not actually dead. Microsoft basically put out a press release saying that they didn't really care if it was the best antivirus on the market. This somehow got translated into "We're not updating it anymore.", which they still are, and "You're definitely going to get a…

I don't wanna go fast today.

The music has a very Apollo 13 feel to it. O'Donnell and Horner being two of my favorite composers, I enjoy it immensely.

Shut up and take my—[ACCOUNT DEBITED].

"Are there any documents?"

The new subterranean missiles are a success, your excellency!

Wow, it took over 2 whole hours before someone blamed me. You guys are slipping.

Wait to talk until you both are no longer upset

Butt I didn't order this...

It seems the leading cause of death by wildlife is failing to take it seriously.

Pikachus: Nature's serial killer.

Derpa derpa... DerpaCHUUUU!!!

Inside a dimly-lit cave... "We play Chinese browser MMOs, very fun and cheap. No one in my cell can afford a computer that can run a Java app fullscreen."

Let me guess, this is also her vagina.

Safety? If something happens on the shinkansen, going as fast as it is, it won't matter which way you're facing.

Everyone! Hey everyone! It's official. As in, I, me, have just declared these automatically-reversing seats on a Japanese train to be the new Best Thing Ever. Why hasn't America, home of achievements like the iPad and the Apollo program and the KFC Double Down, not thought of this???