Two weeks ago I posted about my boyfriend demanding I have an abortion (after he told me to go off the pill because he wanted children). I went through with the abortion, mostly because I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t really want to get rid of my baby, but I couldn’t imagine life without him. Everyone told me he…
Aerinha
aerinha
sometimes i’ll open up twitter on my phone and just stare at the message
As Cool as I am - Dar Williams
GASP!
The toaster one reminds me of the time one of the librarians smelled food and tracked it down to a woman who was sitting at a reading desk with a crock pot plugged in underneath it, cooking chicken stew.
I’m a Midwesterner, and in my experience the majority of us are a bunch of casually bigoted dickholes.
Okay, that’s a personal statement about how you don’t have any female friends you’d want to hang out with. Or even male friends, since you didn’t specify gender!
Yeah, my husband’s work friends are mostly women. (He says he doesn’t like how hanging out with men tends to end up in “comparing dick sizes.”) And there are always rumors at his work about him and whomever he’s having lunch with at the time. Even that time when it was usually two other women at the same time. I guess…
That couple was clearly April Ludgate and Andy Dwyer.
“So, your table stopped me and asked what kind of fish they had was because they thought you were lying to them; I told them it was cod and they asked why we didn’t have real fish.”
Oh man, I was just telling this story on another website this week ironically enough.
I grew up in the 1980s, which means that my childhood swing set was made of child-unsafe metal. The top bar of it was actually a long, hollow metal tube that, when yelled into, sounded very much like a megaphone.
She proceeds to explain to him that only a hamburger contains meat, and that a cheeseburger is vegetarian. She says she knows this because she has been to McDonald’s in London literally *hundreds* of times in the last few years, and that a cheeseburger is always vegetarian when she orders one!
The Reuben one reminded me of a story Terry Pratchett told. He said that one jet-lagged evening he accidently asked for Three Mile Island dressing for his salad. The waitress didn’t say a word, just brought him Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of hot sauce.
Guys, I’m like, so broken up that I won’t be able to marry an angry misogynist.
One 24-year-old woman told me that her boyfriend broke up with her because ‘he told me that I wasn’t girlfriend material because I had been with 10 guys
I did this for DAYS after getting this submission.
I had a coworker ask me to dance at a Christmas party once and I gave him my best April Ludgate and said “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I DANCE? NO. It looks like I sit at home and smoke pot and listen to records.”
He laughed and bought me a beer and we talked about music all night.
And WOW I just got really, really sad because I…