Are you ok? Seriously, about half way through your unpacking I got a little dizzy. That you managed to come through that, and not be babbling incoherently like you just met a lovecraftian monster in the flesh, is quite admirable.

Allow me to commend you on your Herculean effort to unpack that one sentence. Yeah. Let me repeat that. ONE. SENTENCE.

Dude used “pre-instantly”

I’m going to try to upack one paragraph of this drivel as I am a masochist:

The director of “Rogue One,” Gareth Edwards, has stepped into a mythopoetic stew so half-baked and overcooked, a morass of pre-instantly overanalyzed implications of such shuddering impact to the series’ fundamentalists, that he lumbers through, seemingly stunned or constrained or cautious to the vanishing point of…

I laughed so hard, in a packed movie theater, at that line. Couldn’t help it. Felt like a jerk, too, since it’s supposed to be the climactic scene!

“Only a Sith deals in absolutes.”

Oh my fuck that sand bullshit was awful.

And let us never forget, “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.”

...mythopoetic stew so half-baked and overcooked...

Burneko’s just pissed because he and Magary were going to make mythopoetic stew on the next Foodspin and now it will look like they’re copying.

That hack Shakespeare never had the vision to make JarJar Binks a galactic senator.

“the best of George Lucas’s “Star Wars” entries (“Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith”).”

Imagine watching one of those garbage, interminably long, and overwhelmingly stupid galactic counsel scenes from the prequels, and comparing it, in any way, to Shakespeare. “Wow, those aliens on floating pods saying vaguely important-sounding things is just like... Henry IV, of course!”

It’s baffling not just that somebody wrote this, but that somebody edited it, and still another person signed off on it for publication. Doesn’t say much about quality control at the New Yorker.

Either that’s some epic satire of an overwrought movie review or that guy just loves the smell of his own farts.

What do you have against eschewing obfuscation?

He’s a guy that got his ass handed to him running a GAMBLING business. Their concern was deeply justified.

On the “not knowing it’s real” front, a few years ago Trump “bought out the WWE” in storyline. Not knowing it was just an angle, Wall Street panicked and WWE’s stock tanked, forcing the company to abandon the Trump storyline immediately.

How coincidental, Triple H will be our bond rating after the Trump Presidency.