Oh wow an Eagles fan! Tell us more about the teams you like!

Meanwhile, Jerry Jones remains infuriatingly healthy.

Hey there!!! How many broads do I get? 

You are absolutely right. The only response is that it’ll be tough to make the case for a 4-25 team crying because they’re not gonna get the chance to play Duke in the first round.

The 257th team’s fans are still gonna be pissed.

According the NET all MAC teams now shall receive one pig every month and two comely lasses of virtue true 

Who?

You apparently haven’t met many Colts fans. They don’t make Colts jerseys smaller than XXXL because no Colts fan is smaller than that.

they can absolutely stick 64 recliners in their end zones.

“Don’t forget you heard it here first 18,534th, folks...”

Ben Zobrist and Nick Markakis articles in the same day? Good to see my 2009 fantasy baseball team having a strong showing on Deadspin today!

Of course. The Sprewellian calendar is clearly the patrician’s choice of cataloging events in time

I would guess staph in an otherwise young, healthy, guy.  But there are quite a few weird bugs that can do bad things to people.  It’s really fucking scary to see it happen to people younger than you.

Glad to hear he’s at least stable; definitely a long climb back to normalcy, but a good first step all the same.

It’s cool that a member of the gang made it to the other side of the state.

Now, now. Craig James has nothing to do with the Terps.

The only problem is he keeps sending out 12 players onto the field. 

I wonder if anyone would’ve been fired had it not been for that report. I guess that’s a sign of good journalism.

I actually love this comment. If Muschamp (or any other coach) is willing to proactively attach his reputation to this sinking ship, the better off everyone will be in the long run.  Just keep putting a mike in this guys face.  

Circle the Wagons! Highest paid employee in SC defending the second-highest paid in MD. Who’da thunk it? THIS, This is what’s wrong with ‘murca...