The good news is Roy Moore can’t be elected so long as every Alabama fan has already burned the state to the ground.

I’ve lived in Alabama for over 11 years. They aren’t lying when they say that the state is divided when it comes to these two teams. The first thing people ask when they meet you is Auburn or Alabama? I’m a California native so I say USC. It throws them off.

Come on dude, it’s Arkansas. Slow your roll here, bro. What exactly does the University of Arkansas have to offer? “At least we’re not Mississippi”?

<holds envelope to forehead>

Damn, Tiger really needs to stop ruining his brand immediately after Thanksgiving.

wan’t planning on it, no

Ok ShadowBnd2, we get it. You’re a racist piece of shit. Now please SHUT THE FUCK UP. Thank you ever so kindly. Have a great day, nazi!

I can’t think of a more tasteful way to promote a Thanksgiving Day game featuring a team called the Redskins than to bring out a child rapist to make jokes about snapping his opponent’s leg. Go, NFL!

Jesus christ, I’ve had to look at young Roger Goodell for like two days, now this? Can I get a NSFMy fucking eyes?

Don’t worry guys I speak Cajun.

Why yes, it is a good day to drive a pizza boat.

Milquetoast is what we in Wisconsin aspire to return to.

If we could rid ourselves of Walker, Ryan and Johnson and go back to being a quietly purple state, with healthy respect for nature and a beautiful countryside as a result...I think we’d be quite content.

The resemblance is uncanny.

Neither team can pass block (Michigan’s worse at it), both defenses are top 5 in FBS in sacks per game and have excellent pass defense efficiency. Both offenses are quite good at running the ball; Michigan’s defense is somewhat better at stopping the run.

Of which conference(s) is this *not* true?

They are 2-2 against the SEC over the last couple of years. Losses to LSU and Alabama; wins over LSU and Auburn.

If I could figure out how to be compensated for ignoring Wisconsin, that would be even better. Scott Walker is the person who has come the closest to ever accomplishing this.

When you are an employee getting paid, you don’t have the right to just refuse to play. Why don’t all of the players on teams with 3 or fewer wins just quit for the season right now? They aren’t going to make the playoffs. Why risk future earning potential knowing you aren’t going to win anything this season?

As someone who played football at a recreational level with his friends in the backyard, I can safely say that Bennett would not be able to block, catch passes, take hits and raise his fist in the air during the anthem if his shoulder was that injured.

I feel like the issue might be more craft brewer’s increasing zeal for making ever-hoppier beers. I feel like a Sierra Nevada is the platonic ideal of a hoppy beer. Anything hoppier than that I feel like I’m drinking a smoothie made from pine cones.