Pitchfork is required, by law, to award .5 points to each of it's reviews for each mascot with an ironic mustache.

Something something TESTICLES.

Look for my team to dominate: The Cavalier King Jamaal Charles Spaniels.

Invisible cereal anyone?

I also wonder what the damage for a Crysknife is. Probably get a +5 bonus with Exotic Weapons (Crysknife).

It's very hard to determine what he said from the audio, and impossible to lip read since Jack's upper lip hasn't moved in the past 30 years.

Didn't see any cheap shots or cheating. All I saw was winning.

No fist bump? No high-five? Is she a lady warrior, and only accepts the hand to forearm post-slaying of enemies shake?

From Orange Bowl Champions to tearing down the goalposts after beating a thoroughly mediocre West Virginia in 5 years. I can't give enough credit to Lew Perkins and his hiring of Turner Gill for making this special moment possible. I think Baby Mangino would have had a hard time doing worse.

Or a daytime talk-show: "Tea Time With Pat and Ian"

These two need a reality show ASAP. Like yesterday. With some ridiculous pun-laden title.

The NCAA mustache this guy a few questions about his slushie fund. Yes, the secret account used only for buying Icees.

The Bucs are treating Tynes like a bunch of... hmmm... looking for a word for people who steal or horde (plunder maybe?) money or other valuables (treasure?). Nevermind. I got nothing.

Maybe in a state that has a lot of farms, you might consider food that is typical of farm life. Biscuits and gravy, fried chicken, chicken fried steak. Or in a state filled with cows and wheat something involving cows or wheat, besides hamburger casserole, which I have never eaten in my entire life in Kansas. How…

A better costume would have been Lady Schiano, accompanied by a Lady Schiano Man and Lady MRSA. And abject failure, which is, of course, genderless.

At least give her credit for not going in black-face, because some people still haven't figured out that is a terrible idea.

I'm not sure that's what they meant when the school administration said, "This art class needs a shot in the arm!"

I think Andy Reid was able to understand the gravity of the situation he was walking into in Kansas City, being a center of gravity himself. And now in Chiefs red he looks like a Red Giant star.

The omission of Gooseberry pie is a travesty, sham and a mockery all rolled into one. Gooseberries are what cherries wish they could be, but can't because they don't have the moxy or gumption. MORE OLDE TIMEY WORDS!!!

So much wrongness with your list, I am going to get my grandma to beat some sense into you with her Pyrex Pie Pans. Seriously making Jayhawk nation look even worse, which is hard to do during football season.