Seriously, Jalops, this is it. The moment of truth. We need to buy this car.

Friends don’t let friends buy HP.

Hmm, cheap computer that runs a more-difficult-than-it-should-be Linux distro made for education and emerging markets? Sounds familiar....

Shit, try doing that five minutes before air with the lead story. Perks of working at a tiny craphole local station as a teenager in the late 90s. Our 3/4" decks ate more tape than some of my coworkers ate food.

Yeah it’s similar to how Airborne’s shtick is that it was invented by a school teacher. Actually, I would prefer a drug developed by chemists.

“Designed for gamers by gamers.”

A Mustang that did not hit anybody leaving cars and coffee.

Maybe it would be cost effective and beneficial to follow the contour of the exposed bedrock leading down to the river when they rebuild?

I keep an old Glenfiddich cannister and fill it with coins. When it fills up (can take anywhere from 2-4 years), I roll my own (I’ll be damned if I’m giving Coinstar one red cent), take ‘em to the bank to either deposit or convert into folding money, and then use it to either buy something I’ve wanted but didn’t have…

I have never eaten meatloaf good enough to not douse in ketchup.

What kind of an animal ruins meatloaf with ketchup? If it’s too dry you use brown gravy.

Meatloaf is literally the only thing I like ketchup with.

Who tells a stranger she has “nice skin?”

No movie was ever worse for having Bill Paxton in it.

And then I chimed in. Haven’t you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door. No? It’s much better to face this kind of thing with a sense of poisoned rationality!

You’re right. It’s much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.

Panic at the disco!

Rat rod 911 for your delectation and diversion

Noooo.. this is...

And they’ll bite every-damned-body that walks through the front door, lol.