An ex who was a coffee snob got one of those little italian stove top espresso makers. She had to stop using it after a couple months because she found she was super anxious and grinding her teeth, but she got so much done in the morning.

He should look exactly as he does because it reflects the soulless monster inside. He looks like a monster that pulled on a human mask that was 1/5th of a size too small so it fits tightly.

You mean more accurate. If he’s going to live his life in a sleazy and slimy way, he should look the part.

That sign and the way she is holding herself, not to mention the three white women behind her, works so perfectly.

I think I’ll sneak that into the playlist at work tomorrow. We have a bit of a sausage party situation at work.

She is a professional dancer and choreographer, both of which she excelled at. There is a strength, intensity, and freedom in the way she dances. She is very much in control the whole time and very aware of how she moves.

Part of me would like to go, but I feel like it’d be horribly crowded and I would be terribly disappointed.

1. If you are a supporter of a politician, maybe don’t bum rush the stage and hijack the mic. It makes you look like a dick.

Offering to throw in Kelly Ann Conway and Sarah Palin is saying I’ll shit on your face and then drop a brick on it . . . for FREE!!

Exgf started emailing me out of the blue. She’d moved to Japan to work with her gf at the time, but, after a few months, things fizzled out and they split. She got lonely which is where I came in.

The problem with cereal is that it is cereal. I do eat it often, but it only exists out of pure convienence. You can’t even make toast in the time it takes to pour yourself a bowl of cereal. The reality is that it will never be something you crave and, any that taste really good, aren’t really all that good for you.

Breakfast burrito. chopped up pork breakfast sausage, poached eggs, the sharpest cheddar cheese you can find, a little hash browns, and some green salsa. Roll it up and fry it crispy on all sides. Slice it in half and there you go.

How did Rachel get her McDonald’s breakfast? She is still in her housecoat and pj’s.

You know there has to be that person who shows up shit faced to their tattoo appt and then has to be told they don’t tattoo drunk people.

Any good tattoo shop won’t work on you if you’re drunk.

Maybe add some fancy seltzer drinks to the menu? They already have club soda in abundance. It wouldn’t be hard to tweak that and make something with pretty much no calories.

Next generation drones.

Reading that, I shuttered. He needs a trip to janitorial school, therapy, and a shower, in that order.

I can honestly say that I have never heard any woman say “check out the size of the testicles on that guy”.

America has moved to having a culture where respect isn’t shown and only have the expectation of treating someone well if they can do something for you. In Japan, politeness and courtesy is something they take great care and pride in showing.