At least make him 14-16, then all the things he was doing sort of make more sense. A 9 year old kid who is somehow a super engineering genius who has magically scrounged together enough parts to make a fully working racing vehicle just seems like a bad cartoon where as if he is at least in his midteens, it begins to…

They are actually 8 years apart which doesn’t make it not gross; I mean Jake Lloyd and Natalie Portman, not Moby and Natalie.

Just saw ‘the picture’ of him and Natalie. Just wow. 

Maybe he should have checked in with her first.

Was Steve Jobs cremated as well as that burn?

Well, they are joining the military. That is kind of like telling graduates at a school for plumbing that there is a virtual certainty that they’ll have to deal with other people’s poop.

Fairly certain that you don’t have to pay for training in the Military where as any trade school will cost them a bundle and have prerequisites that, due to growing up in an area with a sub par school system, they might not qualify for.

I am pretty certain he means that they may be called upon to quell an uprising here at home . . . . or just go randomly kick the asses of some kid posting particularly cheeky memes making fun of Trump on Twitter. 

*mike drop*

Twilight probably bought Robert Pattinson a house and he’s done a bunch of good stuff since. The Lighthouse looks like it will be an amazing film.

That sound of impact *shutter*

I was kind of hoping that Fergus would explode at the end.

There are a huge percentage of products that they put ‘sell by’ and ‘best before’ on which have vastly longer shelf lifes than those indicated on the package. 

Canned goods can be safely consumed years after their ‘best before date’. On the rare occasion that canned goods genuinely go off and are unsafe to eat, it is generally pretty obvious.

Make sure you wash that bottle once in a while. All kinds of nasty stuff can grow inside it like streptococcus and E.coli. Really, anything that can travel on your hands or mouth. 

And all the fancy bottled water is, per the IBWA allowed to be up to 50% tap water. You are paying for what already comes out of your tap, just run though a filter. Sometimes they even add minerals back into it for flavour.

How about they wipe out some student loan debt for their employees? They can still brag about it on Instagram.

I would be able to stand Guy Fieri if he, just once, wasn’t fake orgasming over literally everything. If you paid him, he’d tell you about the delicate flavors and textures of store brand dog food.

I am very on board with eating anything for any meal and that looks like an amazing start to a day.

link to some evidence or it didn’t happen.