When you get to my age that monotony is broken up by an hilarious story about their toddler vomiting at the worst possible time.

When the Browns were 0-3 I saw the possibility of a winless season and starting betting on them to lose. Over a three month period, my initial investment of $300 had grown to $304.61 before that crushing Week 16 victory against the Chargers left me penniless.

On the other hand, if they meet again in the Finals it will have been for the same number of times Larry and Magic met up (1984, 1985, 1987)— thankfully the Rockets spoiled that uninterrupted monotony in ‘86. You could bring the 50s and 60s into it but the Lakers lost all seven of those, so not really a rivalry as…

In Russia the art of supplying non-denial denials is called “polonium dancing”

+1 impassioned, lunatic pre-game speech that no one buys into about how nobody respects the Warriors.

What Draymond needs is a rivalry purge to flush away the extraneous rivalries (East Lansing townies, other dudes’ ball-sacs, nuance) that impinge upon his full concentration to the rivalry with the Cavaliers.

“Big deal” — Alec Guinness

Own(ed) goal(ies)

If the Burmese tweens who made your shoes can work for 19 hours a day for negligible pay, certainly you can power through some squat thrusts. God gave you two kidneys. Here, take a salt tablet.

What are yuan about?

You can’t spell Mehlman without MEH

According to Lancaster Bible College textual scholars, such a highlight being elevated to national attention is a harbinger of the End Times

“Trump Determined To Attack United States”

(Tetris background music starts playing on all public address systems in the Greater DC area)

For far too long we as Americans have been forced to choose between sick and insane to describe such pregame tomfoolery; I posit that it is both sick and insane in such an intertwined way that the sickness and insanity are non-reducible.

The cottage industry of floating ideas about reboots for discussion is now a $481 billion per year concern, dwarfing the revenue from actual televised programs.

Interpol now has an APB out for a Uosdwis R. Dewoh

fatlotofgood.com : domain name still available

“I come here not to praise Chris Berman, but to bury him (Berman spits out baby back rib meat, BBQ sauce still on his face) But look at the size of ‘im, I’m not digging THAT hole.”

Maybe he’s actually mad that his last name is an onomatopoeia signifying the sound a clay sweet thrower makes.