Man you indie guys with your totally off-the-grid QBs that never get any press

Don’t forget the Poulan Weed Eater Independence Bowl, where Southwest Texas State beat a Flubber-less Medfield College 27-17

Only one explanation suffices.

(to be sung like the Spiderman theme song)

Once it was discovered that Captain Caveman was at most a corporal and had sold U.S. intelligence to the Viet Cong, it was all over (final score of the final bowl game: Coast Guard Academy 17, Texas A&I 13)

There were a lot of holes in the defense (trap door opens up below James Franklin)

You’re right about bowl games being good again, concussed eight-year-old topic sentence-writer, and I’m totally re-evaluating the South Alabama/Air Force Buddig Pressed Luncheon Meat Ennui Bowl tussle in light of this new edict.

(Phil Jackson puts all Knicks starters, minus Porzingis, in a spaceship to study gamma radiation bursts)

Chip Kelly: Baalke and York are incompetent. How incompetent? They hired Chip Kelly!

Jed York sounds like a minor character from Grapes of Wrath, not a person in charge of a billion-dollar (for now) football franchise

Of course, Baalke is only leaving because of the severe limitations on migrant workers, especially those from Mypos, to be enacted by the incoming Administration.

I plan to get married and adopt several daughters just so I can become appropriately outraged by this fossil’s inchoate rambling.

Perhaps he’d have more than just the one piddling felony and three weak-ass misdemeanors if Marvin Lewis wasn’t so tolerant of mediocrity and underachieving.

You can’t have your cake and eat it too, Newt. (looks at Newt) OK, perhaps you have done that repeatedly and literally, but this is different.

We’d have to ask our cable provider whether they carry it, and then embark on a long quest to find it (in Austin, it’s located between the channel that plays Byron Allen comedian roundtable shows from 2006 and the Airport Parking Lot Quasi-Emergency Channel)

He was punched by Portland’s equivalent of The Sixth Man (the spectral basketball player movie): Jerome Kersey.

Cleatus the Robot (voiced by Vin Diesel) hosts CLEAT COURT, coming to Fox Sports VI, right between Garbage Time and Two Schmucks, Any Schmucks, Take Your Pick, Yelling.

I’m waiting for the first anguished commentator to say “As the husband of a hoe and the parent of three bitches I am outraged by this situation.”

The Battle To Finish Below .500 But Inexplicably Snag the 8th Seed And Get Unceremoniously Swept by the Warriors is well and truly joined.

“I was given something I shouldn’t have and was temporary successful”