It’s like Linus just delivered an uncomfortable, disjointed, too-long sermon.

Just watch for the Freudian slip where a Trump/Kremlin sock puppet says ‘Soviet Union’ instead of ‘Russia’

“The problem with Phil Jackson is that he holds the joint too long rather than passing it, leading to a inefficient and uneven baking in the drum circle.”

Incoming game hype: The Knicks are ridin’ high on a 4-game win streak!(against Minnesota, Minnesota, Miami, and Sacramento)

Thankfully we have a composite sketch of one of the felonious miscreants.

As we approach the holiday season, I’d hate to be a ref whose heart was so cold that he wouldn’t, possessed by a giving spirit, respond to the constant, shrill entreaties of a crying, fair-haired lad with a kindly defensive pass interference flag. Maybe Rankin-Bass can get on that.

People need to stop firing off takes about Aroldis’ personal life like a handgun in a garage.

No more taking chances

How about a show where he solves crimes and the formerly unexplained called Mystery Van?

Do they sell non-wack shirts?

It was the TV series equivalent of turning The Hobbit, a mere pamphlet of a novella, into 3 movies

Castro’s dead, homeslice, you and your Hutton Gibson-style father can go the fuck back to Cuba.

Why the Wizards won’t win the Eastern Conference; the shorter, non-anguished version: “Are not the Cavaliers”

The Univision Deportes offices, just replace “Plant Meltdown” with “19th Division Soccer Low-Light” and remove the dog that prevents its release.

Years from now we’ll have a secular spring holiday celebrating his career, where parents hide a bunch of painted baseballs in such a way that the kids never find any to symbolize his batting average.

Is David O’Russell the low-cost Irish scab one hires when one can’t get David O. Russell, like Senor Spielbergo?

But how prominent is your Duke bumpersticker compared to the Yankees, Manchester United, All-Blacks Rugby, Carbon-Based Life Forms and Boston Celtics bumperstickers?

(Gen-X scoff) More like House of Wack.

The only JETS I want to hear about is the Junior Engineering Technical Society.

“Firing up some bowls? I’m there!” — Laremy Tunsil