“You’ll have to excuse Ryan, he’s a cheese-dick”

Who’s the Jurgen Klinsmann of American cricket?

Perhaps he should have studied the Keis* to Victory.

If the camera wobbled a lot and caught a few stray, ambient whisky-burps, then we’ll know it’s a Petrino job.

You shouldn’t be making promises like that, what if I am an inveterate practitioner of the art of dicking around regardless of what my watch says

You shouldn’t be making promises like that, what if I am an inveterate practitioner of the art of dicking around…

Let me guess as to these stories:

Rubio couldn’t hit solid ice if he fell off the ice fishing bucket he was sitting on

Wow and here I thought know-nothing anti-scientific xenophobic economic inequality espoused by demagogic half-wits was taking over the world.

Hopefully his levels are rising due to climate change

Why don’t you make the Trump Administration and climate change disappear you jitbag

I thought that motherfucker was still hiding in a box somewhere

More soon-to-be-septuagenarian candidates, preferably white, to really capitalize on the marginal improvements made by a popular two-term President. In other words: play prevent defense, it always works in sports and it definitely works for triangulating technocrats.

How provincial! Have you ever thought how this will be the life of an average Kremlin bureaucrat markedly better? No, OF COURSE NOT, you negative Nancy.

Hi, it’s me, your 283rd commenter. I will reveal the age difference(s) between me and my sibling(s) for a fee. For an additional payment, I will characterize and reveal my relationship(s) with him/her/them although there is no guarantee this subjective perception dimmed by the passage of time will be accurate.

Considering that he used to dress like the bass player for the fifth incarnation of Blood Sweat & Tears (not the classic line-up by any stretch) he certainly shouldn’t be dispensing sartorial tips.

I think a middle ground “don’t dress in Steve Urkel’s old wardrobe” policy could be worked out

It’s weird, with all the people having kids we still voted for Trump and have chosen to do nothing about environmental calamities just around the corner (and already here in drought-and-wildfire-stricken areas)

The DSM-V is said to have an entirely as-yet-unnamed new syndrome mapped out where the primary symptom is being sick and tired of all these memes.

I can’t even remember my own name right now because of that fucking fan, don’t go quoting Nielsen scripture at me

Jezebel: The site that allows YOU to argue with obscure local defense attorneys in nowhere close to real-time!