Also, The Max would have looked down on you for crying. 100% he’d have sighed deeply then put his head in your lap for snugglies, but he’d have judged you.

Just knowing that people have the chance to see and appreciate my Maxwell Smart means the world. Like someone said a few days ago, the humans who belong to dogs ARE GRATEFUL for the opportunity to share pics of our pups.

Since it’s almost Halloween, I’ll share a few of my beloved Max’s Halloween costumes. (He passed away about a year ago. I’m still a mess over it. And I miss choosing costumes for him.)

The ball of ice cream was coated in a graham cracker crumb/sugar combo, held in tongs, and yep, deep fried. Only for a few secs, but it was definitely put into the oil fryer.

I worked at a Chi-Chi’s during high school that was revolting. They’d cram silverware into the container to get as much through the dishwasher at one time as possible, so the silverware would come out with food still stuck to it. The food would just be wiped off and the silverware wrapped to go to a table.

I’m one of the immune ones. The way I found out was that one day I was pulling weeds in front of my house when the lawn service showed up. I swear, one of the guys shrieked like a 10 year old girl, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING??” Apparently I had a handful of poison ivy. I picked it all the time, because it tended to start…

I also want to take my kids to the Harry Potter theme park SPECIFICALLY so that I can try the butterbeer they serve. According to one site, it’s made with butterscotch, condensed milk, cream soda, and whipped cream. Sounds fucking terrible. I MUST HAVE IT.

I know, right? So sad that there’s absolutely zero other way for someone to make a living in Mexico in the hotel district other than animal abuse!

When I was in Cancun over a decade ago, in the mall, there was a guy with a parrot, offering photos with it. He was pushy with me while I was just passing by and looking at the parrot (since I’d never seen one in person and had no idea how huge they were), and grabbed my hand, and made the parrot lie on its back in my…

I want to snuggle them. I bet they’d make all the sads go away.

Plus, let’s face it.. there are a lot of rich Dems, too.

The best way to get what you want is to pretend that it’s already yours. This is how most white men get jobs, by the way.

This is SO much better than having to watch it myself or go to more than one place to find out what an enormous mess this is.

Yo, unrelated, but how are you not freaking out over how low your phone battery is? I start sweating when mine gets at about 30%.

Donald Trump: born on third base, slid into second.

Remember when Hillary Duff got new teeth and they looked that way? Too bright and too big? And within that first week, she had them toned down.

Personally, I’m just insulted by the chosen, practiced cadence of her voice, which she uses while she presents herself as an example of young women. She intentionally uses a voice level and cadence intended to make her nonthreatening and make her words have no impact. I can’t even listen to her and hear her WORDS, so…

All animals do this — when I was young, I went to the vet with my mom to take our dog (though she wouldn’t let me leave the car), and as soon as we rolled up to the vet he perked up and started jumping around, even though he’d not moved in my arms for a half hour — and I used to think it was SO PAINFUL.

Poor baby.

I want to star this more. How do I star this more?