I also want to take my kids to the Harry Potter theme park SPECIFICALLY so that I can try the butterbeer they serve. According to one site, it’s made with butterscotch, condensed milk, cream soda, and whipped cream. Sounds fucking terrible. I MUST HAVE IT.

I know, right? So sad that there’s absolutely zero other way for someone to make a living in Mexico in the hotel district other than animal abuse!

When I was in Cancun over a decade ago, in the mall, there was a guy with a parrot, offering photos with it. He was pushy with me while I was just passing by and looking at the parrot (since I’d never seen one in person and had no idea how huge they were), and grabbed my hand, and made the parrot lie on its back in my…

I want to snuggle them. I bet they’d make all the sads go away.

Plus, let’s face it.. there are a lot of rich Dems, too.

The best way to get what you want is to pretend that it’s already yours. This is how most white men get jobs, by the way.

This is SO much better than having to watch it myself or go to more than one place to find out what an enormous mess this is.

Yo, unrelated, but how are you not freaking out over how low your phone battery is? I start sweating when mine gets at about 30%.

Donald Trump: born on third base, slid into second.

Remember when Hillary Duff got new teeth and they looked that way? Too bright and too big? And within that first week, she had them toned down.

Personally, I’m just insulted by the chosen, practiced cadence of her voice, which she uses while she presents herself as an example of young women. She intentionally uses a voice level and cadence intended to make her nonthreatening and make her words have no impact. I can’t even listen to her and hear her WORDS, so…

All animals do this — when I was young, I went to the vet with my mom to take our dog (though she wouldn’t let me leave the car), and as soon as we rolled up to the vet he perked up and started jumping around, even though he’d not moved in my arms for a half hour — and I used to think it was SO PAINFUL.

Poor baby.

I want to star this more. How do I star this more?

His version of serious might be different from anyone else’s. If she was hit right in the mouth with a baseball, at that little, she could be dealing with a broken jaw, broken teeth, cracked bones in her face, and who knows what else that wouldn’t appear obvious to some rando in the stands.

+1 for Death Foul

Okay, yes, THAT is awesome. But that’s someone willingly putting themselves through that torture. lol

I hate that she does all these practical jokes and acts like she’s Such A Nice Person (TM). Practical jokes are mean, they’re done TO someone, not with them. I’m always so uncomfortable for the person she’s trying to get the world to laugh at. Most of her “jokes” -- like telling celebrities what to say in order to…

Have you heard someone from southern Michigan pronounce it PROPERLY, though? Once your ears start to bleed from the sharpness of the nasal twang, you might change your mind.

Also, there’s a crazy good Cuban restaurant right there (or was). Unbelievable mojitos, with the real cane stalk. I thought I hated mojitos until I tried those.