Imagine how often they would have to bleep out the N word if this game was at Fenway.

I feel you. I once said “There is no fucking way they can make a Speed 2. It just wouldn’t make sense! How would it even make sense?”

Even Dana Loesch wouldn’t defend that shooting.

I’m an engineer

Is there anyway I can give a negative star, or take away the 1 star you have by default? I think you can do that yourself. Can you please take away your own star?

No, you can make edgy jokes. They just have to be jokes. What about this guy dropping on the court has to do with getting two possessions? I’m not sure people are getting the connection.

Hey, I’m a little slow so help me out. This is obviously an attempt at a joke, but I’m struggling to find it. In what scenario would a basketball coach ever say “try a 2-for-1”? That means nothing. And, even if it did mean something (again, it does not), what’s the “2-for-1” that you are implying he tried instead?

I THINK YOU BURIED THE LEDE, MR. PETCHESKY

Hopefully it’s a one-time column. The world has enough negativity without spending more time smashing dumb movies.

I have never sent a shirtless photo to a woman I did not want to have sex with because that would be weird and creepy and absolutely signal that I wanted to have sex with them.

I’m always torn by this stuff.

C’mon, I’m absolutely certain that Atamanuik would piss him off more. His strikes are precise.

Those are so damn lame. I refuse to believe you are actually this jazzed about those shots

Can’t take credit for this joke, but he’s just checking to make sure that Liverpool haven’t already conceded again at the other end

Man that is messed up, and right after he shoots Richie Incognito, I really think we need to take his guns away from him.

Put a 5-foot-9, 175-pound AHL goon against a 6-foot-5, 235-pound counterpart, and who do you think will usually come out on top?

I’m not sure why it affects anything really

Billy’s oeuvre consists of three players that he noticed were good on FIFA 2015, trashing MLS, weirdly naive Arsenal takes, and if we’re lucky, rehashing whatever Who Ate All the Pies posted a couple hours earlier.

Old-school Deadspin would have seen yesterday’s game and the takeaway would have been Troy Deeney flipping a massive double-bird to the entire Chelsea section of the crowd after his goal. New-school Deadspin just has Billy Haisley and his utter refusal to stop scraping the bottom of the barrel to conjure up individual…