“I’ve never commandered a vehicle!”

And semi-semi-relevant to that is Alan Arkin is the most underrated part of So I Married An Ax Murderer.

Yesterday while I was getting my tires rotated, Fox News was on and they commentator was going on and on about how 5% of Americans use 50% of health care dollars and why should some healthy 25 year old pay for that? Well Dick, maybe because one day that health 25 year old will be a 57 year old with cancer who’s…

Don’t use lean meat.

A pat of butter might be better?

Please tell me the woman whose husband died from cancer told this “healing thoughts” twit to go fuck herself. It’s just as toxic as the “you just didn’t pray hard enough” bullshit that pervades some religious thought.

It’s very easy for me to be sympathetic to the people who buy this stuff, because usually they’re not so much gullible as desperate. If you have a chronic condition like fibromyalgia that medical science still hasn’t made much progress in treating, you really do need some kind of hope that your days and nights aren’t…

Yeah, you’re too nice. Why can’t you be like the Captain on “Starsky and Hutch”? You know, when you come in, and you haul me into your office, and you bawl me out because you’re sick and tired of defending my screwball antics to the Commissioner? Why cant you do that?!

These walking contradictions can only be explained by the honorable John Cleese:

On the one hand, I think it’s kind of cool that she’s helped contribute to a culture where Bobby can take her to task.

On the other hand, yeah. Let the lady rest if she wants.

Yep, and it’s why I and a lot of others were so disappointed with the article a couple months back that Bobby wrote that took her to task for daring to have the audacity to deal with bigotry in the way that she saw fit.

We have a piper down!

“Lookit the heed on th’ buy, it’s like an ah-denj on a toothpick.” (Going for phonetic spelling, you gotta do it in the accent.)

Wo-man!

Only semi-relevant, but: “So I Married An Ax Murderer” is the most underrated comedy of all time.

Try starting with, “Hello” or, “Would you like a Jameson?”

We’ll be okay with our Scotch, neat with the merest whisper of water, thanks. :D

These issues are all solved by drinking Jameson, like a man. Ladies, I don’t know what to tell you.

What’s nice about a halter top is that when you vomit up your 12th lime-a-rita it won’t necessarily get stained.

Holy shit, history is not going to be kind to us.