Not only Middle Eastern - Arabic! And the first Algebra (Al-Jabr) book was written by a Muslim! Common Core algebra requirements are a fine example of the secret Muslim infiltration of western education promoted by Barrack Hussein Obama.

Yep, this is basically why my husband isn’t working right now. We had twins, and if he went to work, or even school through the GI bill, basically all our extra income from work or school would go towards day care. He’s going to go back to college in another year or two, when the cost of daycare drops slightly.

Jane’s mom also picks her up a prescription for the abortion pill and straight out tells her, “You don’t have to have a baby.” So even though Jane’s mom made a different choice, she was pretty damn supportive of her daughter’s ability to choose for herself.

If we have time travel, though, can’t we just take baby Hitler with us and send him off to get adopted by the Amish or something? I feel like I’ve never heard of a genocidal Amish guy.

I more meant, her vagina is not going to be feeling up for sex for at least a few weeks. Clearer?

This one’s a lot more understandable than the usual “didn’t know I was pregnant” story. Woman at a common age for menopause, had never been pregnant before, likely had multiple reasons for thinking she was infertile.

“Though, I can’t help but wonder: did they buy a pack of condoms on the way home?”

Make this the plot of Pitch Perfect 3, and I will watch.

Nobody cares, Hil, we’re all watching the World Series. Sorry.

I loved both movies, I’m ridiculously excited for this, don’t even care.

I had twins. I felt about as graceful as a sea lion walking on land. Kim Kardashian hating her pregnancies is just about the most likeable I’ve ever seen her. Except when she’s doing shit like making people wear fake pregnancy bellies to her birthday party, then it gets all weird again.

Rap/hip hop musical about the founding fathers that features things like rap battles between Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton. The cast is almost all people of color (except for Jonathan Groff, who plays George III) so it hits all the social justice pleasure spots of Tumblr. But the music is really catchy and…

Coming to an AP US History essay near you: And then Alexander Hamilton was all like, ““Should we honor our treaty, King Louis’ head?”“Uh… do whatever you want, I’m super dead.”” And that’s why George Washington decided not to help France with their war.

I’m less hormonal on Nexplanon than I was on the pill. And it’s sooooo low stress, not having to remember to take anything.

When I think iPod, though, this is the ad campaign I remember:

I remember thinking the iPhone sounded like a dumb idea. I is smart.

Because there’s always money in the banana costume.

I’m just over here wondering what kid tells their parents, “Mom, Dad, I want to be a banana this Halloween!”

They screened me for depression on arrival, but not before I left (when it would have been way more useful, hello baby blues).

Yikes. Yeah, that’s no good.