Would.

Well, let's say you are having tea with Lady M., when Sir Jeffrey R. drops by unannounced and in a state of agitation, wanting to show you Dr. G.'s latest paper on Sumerian poetry. Now, Lady M. and Sir Jeffrey detest each other, so you usher him to the oak reception room and pour him a brandy, before returning to…

"The findings are not novel and the solution induces despair."

The way Marshall discovered it is that he drank a flask of H pylori culture, expecting he might get ulcers in a few years. He had an ulcer within a week, which cleared with antibiotics.

The girls take no risks, obey the rules

Communist LESBIANS, thank you very much indeed.

Not only will the next Doctor be a black female, she'll have a lesbian relationship with Missy and it'll be the single worst thing Moffat has ever written. It'll be handled so badly that DW will just die and it'll be off the air for 6 years until Rupert Grint buys the whole franchise and stays in the role for 30…

Magikarp

Sit down, John.

My siblings and I have ALL had this complaint about my youngest brother who was born super early as well. I believe the usual phrasing was "just because he looked like an unhatched chicken at birth does not mean he doesn't have to do dishes."

I mean he said he needed a bitch. You know what his problem is? He is indecisive.

I've had this done to me twice. Both times I immediately put on my psycho face and said, very loudly, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING. Considering I'm just about 6'3 this caused both of those dudes to stalk away complaining under their breath.

Be the change you wish to see in the world. (Check for cameras first.)

I see House Neckbeard has chimed in on this article...

I have broken not one, but three wine glasses in my tub. Each time, I fished out the pieces and continued my bath—which then included the spilled wine—feeling like motherfucking Dionysus. Team Tub Drinking forever.

One Thanksgiving, my teeth were just starting to come in. I was miserable and crying. My material grandmother, a lovely and tiny woman from Ireland, decided the best thing for me was to rub whiskey on my gums. Unfortunately, she didn't realize my paternal grandfather, an ex-Navy Italian from Queens, was doing the same…

I'm just picturing him coming to America, showing up in the nearest restaurant, weeping copiously as he eats basket after basket of bread. Finally, he's eaten enough to rupture his stomach, and he turns to the server who is trying to comfort him in his last moments and says, "I ate all the bread. I. Ate. All. The.…

Since The Fall is back, I think the Stella Gibson gif is appropriate.

I think he's in for a surprise, because a really sizable portion of women in my general age group had a crush on the Robin Hood who was literally and figuratively a fox.