wHAt iS gAWker gONNa sAY whEn SOmeONe doeS thIS to oMAr!!!?1

Fuck off, chud. 

This needs to be this generation’s moonshot. Overhauling public education would go a long way to addressing so many inequities in our society. I’m wary of anyone proposing a one size fits all fix because obviously not every community has the same needs. But just saying we’re willing to pay for it is a great start. 

Now to be fair it was her turn. The needs of the electorate should always come secondary to a Clinton’s legacy. 

Oh but we mustn’t blame Democrats or interrogate their overall strategy too harshly. Let’s focus our outrage on a handful of mostly imaginary voters in Michigan and Wisconsin.

First you tell me what you think she would accomplish with a Republican controlled house and senate. Personally I shudder at the thought of the concessions she would have made in the name of bipartisanship but to you it’s all points on a scoreboard. 

Far be it from me to explain anything to such an esteemed government knower such as yourself but historically the party of the sitting president loses seats in the midterms. But I’m sure Hillary wouldn’t have suffered the same fate as Barack Obama considering how vastly popular she was. 

Which is exactly the answer I’d expect from someone who treats politics as sport and truly doesn’t care about he outcome.

To average working class Americans the difference would have been negligible. I’m really glad your life is so comfy and you can go into each election worrying about a single issue but the vast majority of this country is drowning in debt, living paycheck to paycheck, in desperate need of healthcare and already…

Sounds like a winning strategy to me!

Yeah no reason to try and gain a deeper understanding of why people in key battleground states didn’t turn out in droves for Hillary. They’re just stupid. Let’s keep calling them stupid and hope that works out in 2020. 

My god getting owned by Ted Cruz is embarrassing enough but having your thunder stolen by an adult hall monitor with an even less impressive resume would devastate a normal person. I don’t know how Bob gets out of bed in the morning. 

They weren’t thoughtful I’m being flippant!

I’m glad you think I’m cute but I don’t appreciate you’re willingness to absolve a major political party and it’s self appointed leader of any blame in what is going to be remembered as the most embarrassing electoral loss in modern history.

Well better safe than sorry. Because elections have consequences. 

Well let’s call him a turtle a few more times instead of treating him like a legitimate political threat. A few more photoshopped pics of his head on a cartoon turtle body should do the trick. 

Just a reminder that elections have consequences and everyone should keep that in mind in case they decide to tell the rust belt to fuck off and go campaign in Texas because lol how could I lose!?!

Referring to Steve Scalise as a Republican congressman who “once spoke at a white nationalist conference” is far more generous than he deserves. He is a white supremacist. Full stop.

This is a solid ranking but I need you to explain how Yoda is a wizard.