Ryan Howard is doing the same thing with the Phillies.

Underemployed Farting Object

Come on. This is Deadspin. Sports references!

The kids call him “G-d Shammg-d.”

Worst Place to Urinate Outside:

Pant O’Mime was going to attend White Sox camp to appear at White Sox camp today, but Kenny Williams barred his son, Sweetchild O’Mime from the facilities. The younger O’Mime, with a tear in his eye, looked to his father and mouthed the words “Where do we go now?”

The Joe Maddon Cubs are the closest we’ll ever get to the “Major League” Indians and I love it so much.

my time to shine!!! I worked for *INSERT OEM HERE* as a release engineer for weatherstrips, and DLO’s those chrome strips around the windows are not so easy to change color, they aren’t like a bumper, or insert on the side of the car. they are almost always stainless steel or aluminum usually stretch-bent or stamped.…

It can just pop up at any time, just randomly. Not because you did something to it, but because it’s there. There’s days when I wake up and I feel fine, and then a week later, it’s kind of stiff.

You’re headquartered in New York, where there is a French colonial themed restaurant named Le Colonial. It’s been there for years. Never a word.

Step one: DON’T PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE, YOU DRIVELING HEATHEN.

Saw the author was HamNo, assumed the answer was to watch society crumble around you, then use those crumbles as a sweet topping.

As a fellow disgusting sweaty male let me just say: undershirts do NOTHING for a guy who sweats that much. They can wick the equivalent of lake superior but you’re still going to be a nasty mess. My wife will flat out refuse to slowdance with me at weddings after a certain point in the evening because I get so sweaty.

Bushmills? That’s protestant whiskey!

Only the second-most humiliating thing attached to Hogan that Gawker has published

If it wasn’t already obvious it’s 100% fake, the photo editor missed a huge detail by not changing the rear-end shadow to reflect a shorter vehicle. Good effort, though.

OH MY GOD I ACTUALLY HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO THIS TO A CAT CALLER THE OTHER DAY AND I DID AND IT WAS AMAZING ok that’s all

Obligatory.