Will there be a trip through the East coast area where the white guy meets zany characters? Including a wise man of color? Does he bed a free spirited woman who teaches him something about his life? Will he come back to his roots at the end and understand himself a bit better and speak of the skies and the end of…

How much do you guys wanna pay me to write a Jonathan Franzen novel? It’s about a dissatisfied upper-middle-class white genius who doesn’t feel challenged by his wife. But it’s really about, like, America.

Saying “Highlight of the NFL offseason” is like saying “Refreshing moment of candor from Charles Krauthammer.”

Sessions does not differentiate between the performed tricks of David Copperfield

Ugh, even I hate that one. Sorry, everyone. -1

Weird, right? It’s like there’s something about him and his circumstances that makes the justice system go easier on him than other convicted criminals.

Sorry, but I am willing to bet many of the ghosts of those who have fallen would have been cheering that shit on the whole time. We’re all cut from the same cloth.

I meant that we were offered a chair.

It is really too bad that Cleveland cannot just release that dogshit franchise.

“That guy’s 78 and throwing a punch like that, that reminds me of the Buzz Aldrin clip, I mean at his age we must say that that is very, very interesting,” he said. “You don’t see conservatives go into Hillary Clinton rallies and freak out at her like that. It’s a lack of respect that liberals have for freedom of…

I think I like this analogy more than I ever liked watching the actual adventures of Yogi the Bear.

Hey, thanks! My heart is duly warmed. It’s incredibly hard not to go in-depth for these particular kind of news articles due to time constraints and issues with editorializing — they’re riper for an op-ed or essay — but I’m glad you took my points to heart. And I honestly and completely get your point with the Rubio…

In return I internet give you my homemade Swedish fudge.

There’s a reason I’m not a writer or great thinker. I don’t consider all angles. What an incredibly powerful post and I am thankful you responded.

PS You might have wrangled the longest comment I’ve ever written on the Internetz, I’m giving you an automatic three gold star stickers and a praline cookie.

Hi there,

The problem here is coded language. As a Jewish person who has routinely been propositioned by proselytizing missionaries, it’s still pretty screwed up to imply that you’re only a “good [insert person of another faith here] in my” if you meet a pretty limited rubric — and unfortunately in this case, as well…

For fucks sake, as much of a scumbag he is, Marco Rubio has been the only person in this campaign who hasn’t likened Muslims to terrorists, killers of your children and rapists of your wives. Can we just fucking stop? He mentioned how much they contributed to our communal country. Christian, Muslim, whatever. Look, I…

“The only good Muslims in this story are the ones coddling annoying people who are trying to bother people into changing their religion.” There you go.

Forgive me but what did Rubio say that was so wrong? He didn’t say he wanted Muslims to convert, he stated that a Christian missionary couple who was in a Muslim country was met with kindness from Muslims. Am I missing something here?