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Given that I can't find a article about this on any of the gawker affiliates.

I agree with pretty much everything you have said here, but to be honest I think I have already been programmed by the Matrix. Christmas has been the only time I get to spend time with my family for years. I was catching myself humming Christmas carols (and to the detriment of everyone around me not always in my head)

NEVER!

I can definitely tell a difference in my attitude if I allow Christmas to seep past its natural borders— I get surly if I hear 24/7 Christmas radio before Thanksgiving ("Sleigh Ride" in particular makes me reach for sharp objects).

I'm sorry, I can't have this discussion until November 28th. Right now is TURKEY TIME!!!!!!

YOU TINSEL-COVERED TRAITOR

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As a person who had Christmas taken away from her as a child because her hippy-dippy mother thought we should celebrate the winter solstice instead, I just want to say FUCK YOU, KELLY FAIRCLOTH.

See, beginning Christmas the day after Thanksgiving is right and proper. Any more than that is TOO MUCH CHRISTMAS.

I'm with you, Kelly. We use the Thanksgiving break to mark the transition, and I will not be moved!

NO TOLERANCE FOR COLLABORATORS, SHOW YOURSELF OUT SIR/MADAM

Part of me (the part that's fascinated by the lurid) wanted to see their slobbery, awkward virgin kiss so I could laugh.