Ugh.

I think Belichick should be strapped to a chair with his eyelids peeled back and forced to watch Peter King bathe naked in a hot tub of takes while every columnist listed above gives him rusty trombones in turn.

When Bill Bellichick heard the news of this report earlier tonight, he promptly fired the team's equipment manager for failing to do his fucking job right by not under-inflating that 12th goddamned football.

Wait you can grow out of allergies?! This gives me hope for my cat-filled future.

Gotta disagree re: banana peels. 1) the thing will disintegrate in like 2 days anyway, putting nitrogen and carbon back into the earth as it does and 2) I live in Colorado. How badass would it be if a goddamn banana tree grew on the side of I-25?

Worst part about the couple where your wife is best friends with the woman but the guy is a dud is when your wife harps on you to hang out and "get to know them better". Her best friend married a guy who is completely devoid of any social skills whatsoever. After several awkward double dates where I was miserable,…

"Things"? Spygate was overblown, and this is just some b.s. allegation. You're questioning of Overlord Supreme Bill Belichick is direct proof you are not a die-hard Patriots fan. And he's a genius for being the most accomplished coach (wins/losses/super bowls) in the past twenty years, particularly in the modern…

I can think of better options then canceling it. They could for instance just make it crazy stupid.

"The NFL turned to sixth alternate Joe Flacco, but he declined because his wife is expecting their third child."

So what you're saying is that football coverage is refreshingly devoit of the horseshit mountain of sanctimony baby boomer writers shovel onto the rotting carcass of MLB?

That take is so hot, it's a miracle that your fingers didn't melt before clicking Publish.

Boston Globe: HERO WILFORK DISPLAYS PATRIOT WAY IN HELPING OVERTURNED MOTORIST

STICK TO SPROTS, MR. WIZARD!

A little late. Its been raining touchdowns on the Colts for the last couple of hours.

I'm pretty sure I saw a guy do that when I was drunkenly walking back to my apartment in college....

First, Bill Belichick's tube socks.

This shouldn't even be considered bad sportsmanship. Players fistbump their benches after every goal — including empty-netters — why shouldn't goalies get the same privilege?