I purposefully timed my arrival at the hospital for my niece’s birth so that she’d be all cleaned off by the time I set foot into the delivery room, so I get you Travis. Birth is a disgusting miracle.

But that is not all she is about

Commiserate? I'm sure you meant commensurate, but commiserate works so much better. Freud approves.

I came into ownership of a free hunk of brisket, so yesterday I whipped out my pot and got slow-cooking:

This is a fair point, but please understand. If you are acting right, nobody is talking about you.

His supporters think everything he does looks good, though. As long as he can gin up the “morans” for cover, he’s going to continue to assault democratic ideals.

I once saw a man shit into a cardboard box while waiting for the L train. I now consider that the second most offensive thing I’ve ever seen in the subway.

But to be uncomfortable about a black candidate because they’re black means you feel a white candidate would be better which means that you think white people are better than Black people which does fit the definition of racism. If you feel a person would be better for something because of their race than you think…

I’d just leave. You bought the goods, they’re yours, you don’t have to let them check your receipt.

I used to think I had a pretty good idea of how politics work but now I have to admit that I don’t have a fucking clue anymore. Here in my county our very Republican Sheriff actually reported an extremist manifesto put out by another Republican elected official to the FBI. So there is an elected state representative…

Oh, of course he’s willfully being obtuse about it. He knows how dumb all of those chuds in the little arena are, including that stupid fuck holding the “Teens for Trump” sign.

Polls show that about 40% of the country opposes allowing Syrian refugees into the country.

Whew. For a minute there, I thought junior misstated the correct 83% figure in order to use the number “88" to pander to neo-nazis in stating how many times this guy voted along with Chuck Schumer, who happens to be Jewish.

Let anyone who is surprised by this step forward and receive your “duh” forehead tattoo.

If I were having a panic attack on a flight, a therapist is EXACTLY who I’d want to respond.

Every fucking day I have at least 7 moments where I think “Wait, we really elected the dumbest fucking moron in the country President?”

They misspelled the “accusers” name twice in that document! The “accusation” says that Mueller introduced himself by his full name to the “victim” then later says that she only learned his name when she saw him on TV. Plus it’s e-signed and not notarized so it isn’t even a statement under oath. I love everything about…

The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind.

Hillary Clinton moved to New York for the first time in November 1999. By November 2000, she had been elected Senator in a state she’d lived in for a grand total of less than one year. Other candidates with far more experience both in public office and in the state, who had already announced their intention to run for…

Not this shit again. Sit the fuck down and let Kamala step up to the mic. Or anybody else.