Help! I’ve Fallon and I can’t get up!

It’s okay. I cheated against you. It was with my wife each time.

I’m from there, too.

republicans in 2002: EXPORT DEMOCRACY EVERYWHERE

Shit, they can’t even spell center right! No wonder they blew it.

Some people call him Maurice.

FYI, I dozed off while reading your comment.

Hurry up and get home so I can impose my dictatorial will upon you until I go to bed. Hope you’re ready for some Paw Patrol, motherfucker.

It’s not hard to adapt to a polyphasic schedule. I take three 6-hour naps every day and I’m fine.

I had no idea Swedish Death Polka was a thing....

It’s the “rebuilding” part that gets me. My brother got a used Mazda with a rotary that needed to be rebuilt. “No problem!” he said. “It’s much simpler than a piston engine!” he added. He took it apart, cleaned it, and then... put it off for another day. Our mother made him move the car out of the garage, then off the…

Seconded.

Thank God.

“Why did you that?”

I ran so far away from this joke

“Every night....I see that bird, and I remember thinking that no man should have such power. That’s why I gave it up, goddammit! After another decade or so of a Hall of Fame career, sure, but I can’t go back!”

Yeah, Schindler’s List was amazing.

They really should just use R******S. That would be awesome.

Who Gat