This reminds me of the last time I got a call from an IRS scammer.

1. I am truly sorry that your reality has been genuinely shitty.

“A DE. Heh.”

Now that it’s becoming the “Legion of Whom?”, yeah, I can see that.

True, but that brush you’re using is a tad too broad. Admit it.

This husband and father disagrees.

Work harder, comrade! Peel avocados or be exiled to Kolyma!

I’ll do whole wheat pasta any day, thank you. (Maybe not as often as I used to, though.) Besides, you can use red sauce in other dishes, y’know.

Jeez Louise. Buy a jar of minced garlic and a big-ass bottle of McCormick Italian herbs next time. Then pair your dinner with your whine.

If you are spending “hours” making sauce, uh... you’re doing it wrong.

This dad posted a rebuttal above.

+1

BREAKING: Bye bitch.

She can be the dumbest cunt imaginable if she chooses.

Jeezus Fucking Christ, where to start....

Oh, Roo. I’m sorry. I’m not a POC, but I have a daughter to raise. She gets to deal with this shit (international adoptee).

That phrase means “Lower Than Pennsylvania”, you know. That’s not possible.

No, no, no, no, no, no, fucking no.

There’s a reason everyone thinks their mom or their grandma or [insert family member here] is the best cook in the world. If you grew up eating that food, it has an evocative value for you that it cannot have for anyone else.

Bingo! Once the sanctimonious hypocrisy is exposed, everything is fair play.