Hey salty Bengals fan. He writes these for EVERY team. Quit crying. And as a Bengals fan myself, if you haven’t been able to laugh at this team (and pieces of writing like this) by now, then jump off the Brent Spence and do a nose dive into the Ohio river already. “WAAAAAAH!!! Drew made fun of us. WAAAAAH!!” I bet you…

Just watch, AJ McCarron will play great and end the Bengals 25 year playoff victory drought. THEN the following week they’ll let Dalton come back to shit down his pants vs the Patriots and throw 3 pick 6’s and at least 2 fumbles. Then in the offseason they’ll trade McCarron to the Cowboys for some late round picks,…

Just thought of another. If the kid is a big time gamer, get them an outdated game from a previous system. “Billy, your dad told you me just love football on your Xbox machine. I hope you didn’t already have Madden 2002. That Dante Culpepper is a real player I hear!”

If the kid is a super Lego fan, get him those off brand, North Korean manufactured, wannabe Legos. Kids hate blocks that don’t connect with their Legos more than parents hate stepping on Legos.