It’s this kind of smug matter-of-fact attitude that got Trump elected in the first place.

I’m a Bears fan, I only drafted kickers

You magnificent bastard you

I’m trying but it’s getting harder and harder to breathe 

Maroon 5 really isn’t that bad

Compliment. Not complement.

Antetokounmpo*

Peyton’s too busy making shitty commercials that make me long for Cheryl’s She-Shed. TV was a mistake.

The Incredible Machine

That’s a name that rings a bell that knocks over a bowling ball that makes a hamster run on a wheel that powers a conveyor belt that shoots a basketball into a hoop.

I noted this on another comment: corporate season ticket sales have to be WAY down. Like 20 vendors I work with used to have season tix to Mets, Yankees or both.  Now, I think one does.

The blurry preview of that video made me think they had Daniel Radcliffe record a death announcement for every member of the Deadspin staff preemptively, Tom Brokaw/Gerald Ford-style.

Good effort, Barry. I’ll give this blog a B-plus. But, honestly, if you’d just delete it altogether, it would be an A’s-minus.

he was running into the wall for 10 seconds like RBI Baseball 

White people. They think all squirrels look alike.

 Pretty sure the real question is, could you spend more than 15 minutes around an exact duplicate of yourself without ending up wanting to strangle them?

Jerry Jones is incorrect.  The educated man knows to use his blood to form the sacred symbols and call upon the dark power of the great old ones to assist him.  As the bile rises in his esophagus he knows to hold it in with all his might so as to not offend.  When the paramedics arrive, you stab the first one in the…

... whatever.

And I would do ANY THING FOR LOVE...oh I would do anything for love...but I won’t douthat....no I won’t douthat 

You’re really brushing off the level of snark in their announcement, and failing to mention how they addressed concerns about availability of their game in different countries with currencies not accepted by Epic’s storefront with a “you’re not entitled to our game” bitchy and not at all joking response (which sort of…