Damn, I miss Phil Hartman.

You should also be sure to keep your children away from Dungeons & Dragons, as it promotes devil worship. And be sure they never touch marijuana, as that’s a gateway drug to heroin and prostitution.

Tucker fails to mention the one demographic shift that really terrifies white bread motherfuckers like him: The precipitous downward trend in younger generations joining the GOP.

I’m proud these “Some Democrats did some awful shit and should probably be booted from office” lists never include Dems from Oregon.

Sorry to have insulted your shitty suburb. Good luck getting out.

How the fuck does a cop doing his job have anything to do with this story?

Home schooled, religious, and living in a bumfuck Texas suburb nobody’s ever heard of?

Although Ms. Shaw laughed at the comment at the time, at the lunch on February 3, 2017, Ms. Shaw told Plaintiff that Mr. Lee’s comment was ignorant and said, “That could be a lawsuit!”

Hi, I’m a professional writer with 15 years of experience in journalism, copywriting, and script writing. I’m here to underline that headline: NEVER write for free!

They forgot to program emotions into the Stepford-looking cunt on the cover.

Propers to this lady for driving home the point that no matter how gross your body looks, there’s always somebody out there willing to fuck you.

PLEASE let this be the nail in the coffin of Zack Snyder’s career.

I guess we’ve found Zack Snyder’s burner.

So, it’s a small town forced into being by urban sprawl?

Stereotyping people is wrong.

Motherfucker! I was rushing down here to make that exact joke!

While being introduced to the NRA’s token black moron wasn’t a highlight of my morning, I’m totally getting off on their collective insecurity. This is a group that knows it’s fighting a losing battle on behalf of a dying breed of American, and they’re panicking because they’ve already lost the PR battle over the next…

I’m guessing it’s a deep-seated urge to do literally anything of value with her life. All of the idle rich have this nagging voice in the back of their heads correctly pointing out that they’re worthless, and Betsy is trying to prove to that voice that she does, in fact, have worth, dammit!

That’s the dumbest thing I’ve read today. Congrats!

I think it’s less “stupid” and more “desperate.” The GOP platform is so repugnant that it attracts only toadies, sycophants, and religious nutjobs who fall apart when pitted against anyone sane. They know Trump is a fucking embarrassment, but he won a thing one time, and since the GOP are fundamentally motivated by…