Everything about this picture is magical. Everything. The wing spoiler in the back. The tiny headlights. That giant chromed bumper. The fat dude in crocs, shorts, and a tan wifebeater. The vertically offset wheelarches. The two stage mud flaps.

bumper to dumper, you mean?

I’ve crunched the numbers and evaluated the scenarios, and I’m going to have to agree that there really is no other option than for you to get this. Sorry, man.

I’m afraid you have to. There’s really no other option.

I don’t know, the official police report that she posted seems pretty conclusive.

In assessing the rationality and credibility of this person, well...

So you drive like an asshole too?

Miata illegally passes over a double yellow on blind turns and almost causes a head on collision? Maybe that’s what was wrong with it? I dunno though, I’m just a human being with eyes.

Earnest responses to sarcastic comments are the best.

Found this one in Alexandria, VA.

LOST TRACK of 12 unsold supercars?

Tell them to comb the desert, you hear me!

Yes, and I’m making a “can’t hear you” joke.

What?

who gave you security clearance

Pictured: Jalopnik Staff

If you’re having trouble comprehending the nature of this law I would just stay out of the left lane. Thanks.

Not good enough. Driving to Houston last weekend we spent more than an hour trapped behind a truck in the left lane driving exactly the same speed as a truck in the right lane. Both never dropping below the speed limit.

Look motherfucker, I’d be a better driver too if I had Tim Horton’s coffee and Timbits fueling my commute.

Keeping right unless passing is actually the law in a few states. It is rarely enforced. That’s the real issue.