One man can’t be that smooth. He just can’t.

Three MLB games? I thought the doubleheader was against the Orioles.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

Don’t forget they made Gallant take a taxi to the airport after they fired him.

JVR!

I still think the US and Canada should have found players with the same names as NHL players.

This is like the time me and some buddies were driving down to Buffalo to see a Sabres game. We all met up at my buddy Aidan’s house and we were about to get in the car and, with it clearly in sight, I called Shotgun. Clear rules, right?

So the Red Sox are still stealing signs then?

Pretty sure the fact that teams are looking at Brock Osweiler is proof that there’s a blacklist out for Kaepernick...

Odor? This guy?

I bet you’re fun at parties.

Pilot here. Can confirm lowness of runways.

skimming the beach on their ultra-low takeoffs and landings

Pfft. As a baseball purist, I find the Sacrifice Bunt Derby far more entertaining.

When you become outraged at everything, you are outraged at nothing.

The sheer randomness of their inception, though, means it would be totally fine if we one day decided to change them, too.

Wow, the guy really will do anything to avoid writing new pages of Game of Thrones.

It’s all Murray’s fault I’ve heard

Not all of Major League twitter demeaned itself. One team focused on what really matters today.

Hapless? Not so sure. Happless? For now.