My mother taught me to wipe out the fridge using hot water with a few drops of vanilla essence added. Works brilliantly and leaves just a hint of vanilla scent.

He did something weird that was non- threatening. So I shot him.

Sorry Don, gotta go and teach a Spin class.

It sure beats the current policing policy of ‘stop & shoot’.

I love the way it’s referred to as a ‘secret wedding’. No, if it happened it was just a wedding.

Secretary? He’d change it to Sherriff of Homeland Security.

I wonder how many admissions essays get the TL/DR treatment?

The mags may have missed it but Entertainment at HuffPo has it covered in spades...

Less terrifying? No fucking way. That thing makes Pennywise look like a member of The a Babysitters Club.

I was about to say the same thing. A touch of sugar will open up a tomato based soup/sauce.

Black vinegar for me. It has more depth in my opinion.

I always thought he was fetching KFC so he could sneak a few pieces for himself?

Can I sue him for the Ace Ventura movies too? They were so bad as to be indefensible too.

Calamari for the win.

Same here. In fact, my last 3 work places have all had dishwashers. I never really considered it to be a perk of my job, just took it for granted.

But just like his policies, the basket is full of holes and doesn’t hold up well to close inspection.

I’m sure he’ll gets lots of extra attention in jail. As a child murderer, he’ll be super popular as a punching bag.

Such a great list. Thanks for making it easy to find these gems.

In that case, yep, I’d bang away.

Looking at him, I’m pretty sure it’s not the rock shrimp that’s bringing down the look of the table.